No doubt everyone has heard the term, 'going to find myself' whether that is in context to getting a new job, taking a well deserved break or moving away. When I left home six months ago I had no big goals, instead I just wanted to enjoy myself and find myself again. I always wanted to know exactly what that phrase meant; I felt that finding yourself meant
"distancing yourself from what you know is common, your friends, family, job, school and college, these are all distractions and factors that can cloud your opinion, once you have none of these factors to rely on or distract you; you then revert back to your own instinct."
I notice when you surround yourself with all these factors you end up not knowing what you truly want, these people and their opinion tend to burr your judgement. Not with any intention but when you feel confused and unsure of what you want in life you are inclined to follow the crowd and do what everyone else is doing. I never felt that my friends or family forced me to do anything that I didn't want to do; instead I hesitated when I was asked my opinion; I didn't know if I liked something because I genuinely liked it or because I knew that everyone would be happy that I was doing the same as them. When you loss the ability to know what you want, it can be very frustrating.
Starting with a clean slate in a different place was exactly what I needed, it allowed me to make up my own mind, rather than following the crowd; I had no intention of becoming a completely different person and acting different I just was allows myself breathing space to make decisions. I allowed myself not to care what people thought of me and instead I chose what I wanted so new friends could get to know me, the real me!
It seems almost, silly. How could you loss your opinion or thoughts on something. I believe that when life gets so busy with all these other elements that we have to make priority, voicing our opinion seems like the last thing to think of. By distancing yourself and becoming more independent you have to choose what you want since you are not selecting them to make others happy instead you are benefitting yourself in the long run. I was curious whether or not other people felt the same. It has become the norm to do what the crowd is doing rather than waste your time or effort (so it might seem) speaking up and not getting what you want.
My advice. Take the opportunity to do what you really want, stop trying to please other people, it won't make you happy in the long run. Don't be a sheep in the crowd!